What is to be a successful woman? How do I know if I’m one? Why am I asking these questions? Why do we only eat cake when it’s someones birthday? These and many other interrogatives about life and existence circulate our brains almost everyday, and it’s hard not to let them occupy a permanent space in our head when we’re constantly bombed with topics like success, productivity and accomplishment.
Thanks to social media and that fragile window that let us peek into other peoples life, we can’t help but to compare our selves with our friends, family, people we admire, “influencers,” Rihanna and everyone in between. As a result we’re most like to question our selves: Am I succeeding as a woman?
When I was a kid I remember every time a saw some girl doing something amazing on the tv, I used to think, how old is she? Then I used to count the years in between us and think “Well I still have X amount of years to do something like that.” By the time I was 29 I started to realize I wasn’t gonna make it to the Forbes list “30 under 30” (yes, it took me that long) and still felt that I haven’t done anything amazing, that I wasn’t successful, but oh boy I was so wrong, cause now I know that there are many different ways to do something amazing and to be amazing.
How do I know if I’m succeeding as a woman?
For starters, if you are reading this it’s more like that you’re doing things right because you’re looking for answers to those questions. You probably won’t find them here, cause I’m not an expert, sorry about that, but I like to think that I have certain kind of wisdom provided by all the times I have fell, fucked up, wiped my tears and still stood up with the beer on my hand. But that’s not the point, the point is to know all the different types of success in the female spectrum.
The Student
Your hunger for knowledge can’t be fulfilled, you’re always down for learning and thats more than alright, that’s amazing! Even though some people might think you’re wasting your time cause the clock is ticking and probably mamma want’s a grand baby, I want you to know that YOU ARE MY HERO.
I admire people who crave knowledge. I still fantasize that I was born in a rich family and I had the opportunity to go to college without having to work a full time job and survive out of instant noodles in order to pay my tuition, and when I finish college my parents ask me if I want to do a master, and I say yes! Then I do a master in philosophy and then in journalism, and then I get to write better articles and we all win! You get to read a better writer and I get more knowledge and hang many diplomas on my wall, the end.
Back to the topic, maybe you have to work a full time job and still got the chance to finish uni and a master degree (which makes you even more incredible!), even if you didn’t go to college and studied a certificate and a diploma, thats amazing too! You own all that knowledge and no one can take that away from you, you’re admirable. You are a successful woman, cause you did what made your brain happy and thats amazing. Congratulations to you my dear.
The family one
You can’t imagine yourself without your family, maybe it’s the family you created with your partner, babies, dogs, cats, plants, or the family you were born in. Even if that family is dysfunctional they are everything for you, your number one priority, your whole world and thats AMAZING! You’re a caring woman and that is your super power.
Maybe you give money to your mom, babysit your nephews, take care of your partner when sick, look after your sister’s dog when she can’t, share crochet tutorials with your nan, spend every spare moment with your baby… Every single thing you do in order to help your family makes you amazing and you should be very proud. So stop worrying about being successful, cause you already are! You’re killing it as the glue that keeps your family together and that’s something that not everyone can do. So cheers to that my dear, I’m proud of you.
The working chick
You’re a hard working girl and everyone knows that. You’ve been working yourself around like there’s no tomorrow, you have like 3 or more different resumes, for different job roles and each one of them posses real working experience, cause gurl you’re unstoppable, you’re mindset is usually “Just give me the job cause I’m gonna nail it” and thats a 100% sure. And let me tell you my love, THAT’S AMAZING!
I know you might struggle to feel like your are accomplishing something in life, cause you have been all over the place and probably tend to compare your self with other people that looks very successful in social media, and you think “I wish all this hard work have made me rich already, like some of my friends that already bought a house and can afford those mainstream super expensive bags,” but baby girl *zips her cup of tea*, let me tell you that you are a legend! And maybe I don’t know you (or maybe I do cause I don’t know who’s reading this) but I’m proud of you and you should be proud of you too.
You’ve smashed all those jobs like a pro and thats pretty incredible, you’re not afraid of working in order to accomplish what you want, you’re not afraid of working, period. You’re constantly improving your self, getting wiser and gaining experience, and when the zombie apocalypse arrive, you’re more likely to survive, cause you don’t give up and you know how to do stuff. So yes, you’re succeeding as a woman, congratulations, here’s your diploma.
The single mom
In some point of your life you had a baby or babies and for some reason you end up by your self, taking care of your baby or babies, so let me take my hat off cause I ADMIRE YOUR STRENGTH!
As the daughter of a single mom, sometimes I randomly think, how did my mom do it? I can’t even keep my plants alive, not even a tamagochi! And I consider my self strong, but compare to a single mom, I’m nothing. You manage to take care of a human being, while nurturing him with love, providing shelter, education, food, listening to their nonsense while wearing a smile, working a full time job, wishing you had more hands and yet you still manage to make your child feel like everything is gonna be ok. YOU ARE AMAZING!
You’re a mom on steroids, a super mom! And you better keep that chin up, cause girl you should be proud of your self, you’re doing so many amazing things at the same time. You might be the mom of the next president! Or the first super model that commands a mission to moon! And you don’t even know it. So keep up the good work cause, yes you’re a successful woman and I ADMIRE YOU LIKE I ADMIRE MY OWN MOM.
The entrepreneur/business gal
You’re not a conformist, you want more. Why make other people rich when you can make your self rich? You’re a creative woman that’s always thinking on the next big idea, your brain doesn’t stop, why should you? So here you are, ready to give the big leap, ready to jump off the cliff with your eyes wide open cause you’re not afraid anymore, and that my darling is amazing.
You decided not to settle with a job and chose to build your own empire. I know this is the type of success that we think about when thinking about success, but I wanted to bring it to the table, cause it’s not about having a successful business, it’s about taking the reins of your future and not being afraid of trying. You might accomplish your goal, you might not, but the important thing is that you chose TO GO FOR IT and that’s admirable, something to be very proud of.
You managed to overcome the monsters in your head and migrated from the comfort zone to do your own thing, you’re done with phase one and if phase two doesn’t brings the results you were expecting, it’s ok cause YOU ALREADY SUCCED and you should celebrate yourself for being fabulous.
The activist
You worry, about the world, about human rights, about animals, about other women, but more than a worrier, YOU ARE A WARRIOR! And whatever you’re fighting for, I’m so proud of you and all your efforts. Women like you make the world spin around, thanks to women like you we can vote, we can work, we can wear whatever we want. So I salute you and honor you, cause you are a LEGEND.
Wether you create petitions for change, donate money to causes, go to rallies, lead movements, write manifestos or share information, you’re active and that adds value to your existence. You chose not to stay with your arms crossed and make the difference. You value justice and rights and you’re willing to raise your voice. From the bottom of my heart I thank you for all your efforts, cause you’re doing something about it and that makes you amazing.
And the best part of activism is that you get nothing monetary in return, which makes this activity a pure humanitarian act, and that’s something you can’t buy, cause it comes straight from the heart and nurtures the soul. So once more, thank you for your kindness, I’m sorry, please forgive me, I love you, you’re awesome.
The traveler
You chose to see the world and its cultures and slowly you’re getting there. You might feel the pressure of getting married or creating a family (if you haven’t) but you just can’t help your self. Traveling is the chicken soup for your soul and nothing beats that.
Maybe your first motivation ever was to travel and now, this grown-ass woman can’t let go. The good news is that memories are the only thing that we might take with us when we die, and I bet you’ve got some good memories when achieving all those miles, and that makes you amazing.
Maybe your travel bug has drove you apart from having a professional job and you may get whatever job gives you enough money for your next adventure, and you might question yourself about your life choices or if you should just settle in and be normal, but listen to this, the people that you see in social media living that perfect settled life, fantasizes about traveling the world like you! Yup, thats real. So be proud of your life choices, cause you didn’t chose normal, YOU CHOSE YOU and women like you make my heart happy, you’re freaking great!
The independent
Oh my dear strong independent self actualized legend, you are an inspiration. You chose to do whatever you wanted without giving zero fucks about what other people have to say, including your family, therapist and friends. You’re an icon, you take your own decisions, you know how to use a drill, you learned how to change a tyre with a youtube tutorial, one time you carried a queen size mattress all the way to the 3rd floor without any help, ma’am you’re the real deal.
You my darling, are absolutely amazing and even though maybe some of those decisions that you so proudly made by your self haven’t been the best decisions, you manage to wear them with pride, like the champ you are. You might break and cry out loud while hugging your teddy bear, yes, but you wipe those tears and keep going like the unicorn you are.
So I would like to communicate to you, that even if sometimes you feel like you haven’t accomplished much by being independent, you do have accomplished something that humanity has been trying to accomplish for centuries: INDEPENDENCE. Ask any small country in the world, what’s better than independence? Nothing. Exactly my freedom fighter, you feel free to make your own decisions and I can’t think of something more valuable than that. So congratulations my love, you should celebrate your own independence day!
Just to recap:
If you’re wondering, can I be more than one type of successful women, yes you can, cause as you may have noticed already, I made the classification myself, so maybe you’re all of them! The idea is to acknowledge and celebrate the different types of success in the female spectrum, and I’m sure there are more, but I couldn’t make this article any longer, so if you have any other type of successful woman in mind, I would love to hear about it.
Ps. Did you notice that I said the word amazing 17 times? Yes I did, no regrets.
Thanks for reading ❤️
All illustrations by super taleted Austrian artist and illustrator Petra Braun.
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